Xeri and Rie

I want to be a star
I want to be the leader
I want to be famous
I want to be on top
I want to be prosperous
I want to be loved
I want it all, mine

My Big Dream...



Everyday I wondered how far I'd go, and all of a sudden I came to my senses and find myself here.
Umbra at my feet, it's gotten even bigger. I run but then she follows as dark as the light's intense.
I'm afraid, soaring is terrifying. No one told me that the way up there is so lonely.
I can fly to the sky but also fall.
Perhaps running away could be an option too. People say, 'It's splendid to be standing in the center of that bright light', but the closer I am to light, the bigger she'll grown. At any rate, she'll swallows me and becomes a monster.
Up, up, and higher, I will only go higher. I rise and rise, but it still isn't perfect. Is it all just luck?
I don't belong here. All of this are not supposed to be within my grasp, not even this happiness.
I pray, hoping that I'll be okay.
The moment I'm soaring high as I wished, umbra grows in that blasting ray.

Let me shine
Don't let me shine
Let me fly
Don't let me fly
Let me be happy
No, I'm scared

Smile. Why are you hesitating? Isn't this what you wanted?
Cry if you want to cry, what are you so afraid of? This is what you wanted isn't it?
The life you wished, wanted, and chose, achieved it without regret.
Besides you have a big career, big chains, big privilege. You got everything you wanted.
So what's the problem? Enjoy it, or let it go, you hate the idea of that? Then move or stop.
Stop whining and do that thing.
'No one ever told me' you said. 'I had no idea' you said. I'll take as much as you have,
whatever that is. Realize that sometimes, your break become your fall - do you get that now?
That doing your best every time is the best.

I want to be a star
I want to be the leader
I want to be famous
I want to be on top
I want to be prosperous
I want to be loved
I want it all, mine

I want to be me

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I have to be a star
I have to be the leader
I have to be famous
I have to be on top
I have to be rich
I have to win
I had to have it all!!!

I have to...



I am you, you are me, now do you realize?
You are me, I am you, do you get it now?
We are one body, I am the one that you're trying so hard to suppressed.
You can never restrain me, this you must know. Can't restrain me, whatever you do.
Why don't you just admit it? Bet you'll be at ease when you do.
Climb to the top or fall down to the pitch black failure, whichever way you flow you can never escape me.

Wherever you go, I am you, you are me, now you do know.
You are me, I am you, get it?
We are one body and are going to clash, you're mine.
This are us..

At the beginning, there's nothing between the two of us.
But as time flows by, destiny bring us together.

Oh how happy I am, seeing your blissful smile guides me everyday.
It won't be the same without you.
If you wish, I won't go anywhere.

We're only dust, in this vast universe.
Even so, we hold out.

One thing that I know for sure. I am here for you, even in your darkest times.

How blessed I am, seeing your joyful smile guides me everyday.
It won't be the same if it's not you.
If you desire, I will stay.

Should I just go and left?
Erasing all of the memories that you've paint.
And should I found you there, please don't go anywhere.

My tears are unstoppable, I want to see you.
Look! The ray of sunshine is just the same, just like those day.
Hey...I have to bid farewell soon, I will continue to live in the present without you by my side.

As you said "Hurry up, let's go!" You take hold of my hand, making me flustered as you dash off cheerily.
I've always been chasing after you, so I can only see your back, without knowing all the struggles that you have been hiding.

"I'm glad that we met", You said, with a voice that's as gentle as the wind. You turned around as I called out your name and gave me a smile that is both sad and beautiful.

In the midst of August.

I can't stop this tears.
You have always been beside me. But, all that's left are the nice warmth in the palms of my hands which you gave me.
Hey...Even though I know that you won't be there anymore, I still ended up calling your name, over and over.
Even though I was tightly grasping those hands to connect my feelings, but your voice always breaks my heart.
All the feelings that words cannot describe, I will keep them inside of me and live on.

"What's with that face, you are so not cute looking like that". You would scold me like that if you were to see me right now.
When I encounter obstacles and get hurt, I tend to get disheartened, but I have to keep on living.

There were wishes that weren't granted, things left unfulfilled. I had to overcome those countless frustrations. Even the scenery of this town has completely changed.
On the path that the two of us once walked together, I'm gazing into the sky, all alone by myself.

In the midst of August.

So that tears wouldn't overflow, I will always smile as I remember you. Maybe, I'm a bit sly.
Hey! I've become stronger since that day, or maybe, I haven't at all. The wind blows gently.

Goodbye.

I won't forget your love.

My tears are unstoppable, I guess I won't be able to meet you anymore. Those days we spent together, are changing into distant ray.
But still...I have to go! Even if you are not here, I'll continue to gaze at tomorrow.

I can't stop these tears.
I loved you...forever.
No matter how many times August comes, I'll never forget every single thing.
Hey! I bid you farewell.
I will continue to live in the present without you by my side.

That sentences really represent us, don't you think? We met through the same loneliness,

Remember that date we had? You made me wait for half an hour. 

And did you know? I've started to had this foolish thought that you're going to ditch me.
But, as soon as I saw your face, all those foolish thought were replaced 
with happiness and joy.



Me, the girl whom always walk alone at the front, and you, the man who walks slowly yet
very observant of your surrounding.
Eventually, I had to hold your hand to made you walk faster. But deep inside, 
I know that we both enjoy that small, little gesture.





You know. your hand is so warm, and I knew that it can protect me from any harm.
We talked about lots and lots of things. You probably hadn't notice, but I love hearing you talk,
every single thing that you said was really interesting. 
I never said this to you, but your smile was so mesmerizing, it often made me blush.




That day, you told me that you would like to buy some new clothes. Well, we always 
had different opinion about fashion. You want something simple, yet I always suggest 
something that would show more of your cool side. 






Well, obviously we ended up buy one of your choice and one of mine.

Still remember our habit whenever we go out on a date? 
Yep, visit a cafe, so we can eat delicious cake together. 
As a man, you were surprisingly have a sweet-tooth, which I think is amusing. 
That face you made when you're eating a delicious cake is somewhat...cute.
I always enjoy watching you eat happily~






Sometimes you would nagged me to share and fed my cake to you. 
But still, we always cherished those moments, aren't we?




Remember the promise we made that day? That we will go to Japan together?
I was so excited!
Every time we visit a bookstore, I always head towards the Travel Guides section 
and started planning about the places that we would visit in Japan.




Well, I guess that promise will remain unfulfilled, huh....
We both gave up on each other a little too early, don't we?
__________________________________________________________________________________

Since then, how much distance has opened up between the two of us?
Because of that "circumstances" I'm unable to even face you...
No matter how many times I loved you, and how many times I resented you, 
this tightly wound thread continues to gently bind me .
And so, I can't say that even now, I want to hold you, that it still hurts.
I try so many times to say that words; "Goodbye".

You know, I feel like everything I do, just gets in your way.
Even this writing and my constant worrying...
If nothing can stay unchanged, will we too, slowly begin to change?

As I wait for a contact from you, which will never come, 
I poured my feelings into this empty days.
That new doors we saw in front of us. When you pushed firmly against yours,
You were dazzling...

So many half written and discarded messages began to pile up, along with my feelings. 
You were the first person who truly made me think 
"I want to protect you"

No matter how many times I loved you, no matter how many times I resented you, 
this tightly wound thread continues to gently bind me to you.
And that's why, I have to say it, that " I still love you"

Hey, I'm lonely when you're not here...

I must have trouble you again as I wrote my honest feelings.

This clouded heart, I wonder if it will ever be clear?
I'm just there, being pelted by the cruel rain. 
Even as they grew wet, these eyes were looking at tomorrow. 
I want to become stronger, too...




[あなた が いたから 僕 が いる よ]
[I am here because you were there in my life] 

[雨 は いつか 上がる はず だよ]
The rain will surely let up someday.

So, like I said from the previous one, I'm going to post 2 posts with 1 different day!
To be honest, you know, this post's supposed to go luve on December ^_^''

But...yeah... I went back home and forgot to it lolz.
Anyway, how's your Christmas? Mine was awesome! Got to spend time my time with my precious families back home, eating so many delicious food and then fell sick lolz.

The day after Christmas I got a high fever, whine like a baby the next 3 days, and recovered on the 4th day. Talk about wasting my precious "off-from-work" time hikzzz, But, I still enjoyed it.
On this 2016, I have a big dream to achieve, one of them was making my own kawaii accesories brand!
I'm already working on it~
I think I'm gonna write about it as well as attach some of my creation in the future post~~~

Aaaanywayyy, enough of my chit-chat, and see how my OOTD this time, let's goooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Heyyy there fellas~
It's been quite some times now, isn't it? hehe
Life's been busy, so yeahhh.

Actually, I was planning to write about this on November, but...oh well.
Anyway, if you noticed on my picts over the Instagram, there's a few photos there where my hair was long, and yep you guess right! I'm wearing a wig.

Story is, my very very important friend implored me to dyed my hair with a "normal/makes sense" color for her wedding day. Me of course have to reject it, 'cause you know I'm spending so much money to make my hair color like this, I'm not going to dyed it back to black or dark brown, nuh-uhhhhhhh.
At that time, I was given the honor to become her bride's maid lolz. So, my last resort was to buy a wig. Short story, I chose this wig, right here.


Now, here's the thing, the seller told me that this is Original, and I can straighten, blow, and even hairdo it. Also, the seller told me that this wig was made from Kanekalon Fiber which have a similiar fabric with real hair. And, you know what? I was really REALLY dissapointed when this wig's finally arrived.

I'm gonna break down some of my dissatisfaction:

1. It does looks like a WIG, it's too shiny under the light
2. It's thin, and by thin I mean REALLY thin, you can even look the scalp/hairnet beneath it.
3. I can't straighten it, blow it, let alone hairdo it. When the stylist trying to straighten my hair this wig burns. Uh-huhhh burns.
4. It's tight and uncomfortable, I even had a migrain after an hour of wearing it huffftttttt.
5. IT'S NOT ORIGINAL LIKE THE SELLER CLAIM IT TO BE.


Dunno if you can see it in this pict, but really, this wig's really thin.
Well, turns out the Original one was much more pricey, around 600K (this is the cheapest). And I got this wig for only 280K. Ahhhhhh, the dissapointment. I'm not going to buy again from that shop.

So, here's my Summary:

1. Double check the shop where you wanna buy your wig, you don't wanna feel the same                         disappointment like I do.
2. Head size does matter.
3. It's hot and sweaty when you wear a wig.
4. It's better to spend a little bit more of your money on a good wig, rather than buying a cheap one.
5. Don't expect it to be like 100% the same as the picture you saw on the online store, you still gotta       trim and restyle it.
5. The only good thing is that it can hide your real hair.

Anyway, whatever. At least it help me hide my real hair.
Time for my OOTD segments!!!!

Check out how I look with long(fake) hair~











Aaaannnddd, I guess that's all for now fellas.
Oh, next time I'm gonna post 2 blogpost with 1 different day. One is the normal blogpost, while the other kinda like a story telling. It's super sweet I tell ya!

Don't forget to follow us on IG in here

See you on our next blogpost, ciao!!!! :D